SHAME IN MY GAME?

In November I was diagnosed with diabetes. And I HATED IT! I hated being “diagnosed” with something. I hated having to take a daily “med” for the first time in my life. I felt embarrassed, frustrated, to blame - but should I? Am I to “blame”? Could I just blame it on genetics? (PLEASE?)

I had been rapidly losing weight (like, 3 lbs every few days) and I started losing my eyesight. It was scary but I honestly didn’t want to KNOW why. Turns out my A1C was 12.8 when it’s supposed to be under 6.5. WHOA!

So I started thinking about how we seem to feel shame or pride in our health. We all see it every season on Facebook - when a household doesn’t catch the flu there’s always someone touting how they all stayed healthy (often due to some MLM miracle or honey-alcohol concoction). I’m sure I’ve done it too.

How much do YOU feel “responsible” for illness? How much pride do you feel in being healthy? How much do you “judge” others for their illnesses? When all this happened I remembered when a friend had a portion of her colon removed after her first colonoscopy and she mentioned that she was going to be judged because she was an herbalist and she thought people would think less of her. Honestly, I TOTALLY didn’t understand that at the time. Now I do - what perspective and time does. I felt this was MY fault and everyone would see it that way - and it probably was to some degree. But why shame? Why not just meet this head on and correct the situation? Use it as a learning experience.

So that’s what I’ve been doing. I want to feel pride in how I handle this. I also want to learn more about diabetes and what makes it so difficult to manage. I want to change how I eat and how I exercise and how I manage stress. I’m happy to say I’m making great strides in my recovery. Although I’m not where I want to be I’m significantly better with VERY little meds and a total change of diet. I’m down about 50 lbs. and I keep losing. My eyesight has recovered and is back to where it was prior to November. And I’ve learned more about which herbs and eating cycles work best for me - so overall I am good with how things are turning out. Nope - no shame in my game!